Years later I have come to understand that my journey to become a Doctor of Psychology and work with couples has been a journey to fix myself and what's been wrong in my relationships.
As the anxious kid in an emotionally unstable household, I realized I had NO CLUE how to be an emotionally available human in a relationship.
My relationships were intense but short lived. I never understood why I couldn't keep a relationship, or why I would get bored and want to leave. Just when everything seemed stable, it would disintegrate.
So over 10 years of research, advanced training in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples, my own mindset and internal transformation, and my personal experience in my relationships and marriage I have developed Love, Connected as the foremost program in creating connected marriages and relationships.
I completely understand the desire to work one on one...it's the traditional way after all. But we don't do things the old way because they don't work. We are working to get you a specific OUTCOME and this program is designed to get you from where you are now to that outcome you desire in as little time as possible. This is a tried and tested formula that has helped many many people before you to get re-connected in their relationships!
Well, this program is about you. You can't have a deeply satisfying relationship if you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, if you're feeling down, exhausted, and anxious. A relationship can't work if you don't believe you're worthy of love or that you aren't enough to get or keep a partner. Therefore this is a time to really care for yourself and get your own head on straight so you have the emotional reserve and energy to tackle the challenges with your partner (or future partner) AND get rid of the old patterns that you've bought to your relationships again and again that keep you stuck in the same experience.
Honestly, I don't know. That's why we need to schedule a call. We only offer a spot into the program to someone once we fully understand the problem, it's impact on you, and if we are sure that we can help you. So that's why you can't just purchase access to the program off the website, we enroll into this course on a person by person basis. We need to be 100% sure that you have a problem we solve, and we that know you are READY to take action and are COMMITTED to getting your dream relationship.
Ok, here's the thing...people get on the phone with us because they are miserable, and have been for years much of the time. They want OUT of their situation. We provide a path to the outcome of being more confident, having higher self-worth, feeling healthier, more success at work, and ultimately more connection in their marriage or relationship (which is what our clients are searching for). And when this path is offered to them, guess what...they become human! They get scared and uncomfortable thinking about investing the time and resources in themselves, they think of all the reasons why they can't do this and why it won't work for them, and they dive head first into their old coping skills - the SAME coping skill that have kept them STUCK for years. They are offered a way out of their pain and they say "no" to getting out of their pain because it's uncomfortable - so they become more committed to the problem than the solution. You need to decide which you are...
To really make lasting change you have to be 100% COMMITTED and make a DECISION that you actually want the solution to your problem. It's not about staying comfortable, but actually about allowing yourself to get uncomfortable - because anything different will be uncomfortable until it isn't. Anything worth having takes an investment. Just like getting fit - it takes an investment like a trainer, a gym membership, healthy food, getting up early to go to the gym, turning down offers to go drinking/binging/partying, getting enough sleep, getting good exercise equipment and clothing etc etc...and then you start and it HURTS and you never want to go back to the gym, but you do, and over time it gets a little easier and easier...then one day you look at yourself and you've cured the diabetes, dropped the excess weight, have defined muscles, more stamina, and feel great! Discomfort isn't always a bad thing, sometimes it means greatness is right around the corner!
Big life changes don't happen overnight and no one can do the hard work for you. You have to get out of your comfort zone and deal with life's challenges...but this time with support, guidance, and a cheerleader all the way to the finish line. Along the way you will be challenged, you'll have to look yourself in the mirror, you'll have to do the heavy lifting, BUT then you'll have your beautiful, amazing relationship and life to be proud of.
I'm inviting you to take that leap!
I'm so grateful. This has been transformative.
"When I joined the program I felt like the functional aspects of our marriage were good, but I felt like the emotional side had been drifting away slowly for a while. I often felt hesitant to share my emotions or initiate sex. The disappointment I felt after not taking opportunities would continue the negative feedback loop causing more hesitation. The first few weeks of lessons were extremely helpful in showing me how to break that cycle and focus on what I could control. That helped me get through that hesitation, and once I opened up again I could also feel a shift in [my wife]. As we continued with the helpful habits from the program things quickly improved, and we've also been able to utilize ideas from the program with our kids. It's really been wonderful, and I can very easily say that I feel closer to [my wife] now than at any other time in our relationship."
Before reaching out and watching the initial video, I was in panic mode with my spouse.
This doesnt require BOTH partners to take on the WORK. One person can influence the relationship, and so I enrolled and dove in. The interactions with my wife shifted. I saw progress after a few weeks ... as I began to let go of things outside of my control and just be more present, supportive, and aware.
Concluding the program my wife said she really liked how the connection is not hostile in underlining tone and that she wants to go through the modules to see more of what I have learned and continue to review and practice for the "maintenance phase"
This is an invaluable program that does not drag out years and years. It is intense for faster implementation. GET THE SKILLS AND APPLY THEM!
I don't think it's an exaggeration when I say Dr. Rachel and her program saved my life, not just my marriage. I came to her at my absolute lowest, without any hope for my marriage. We had tried couples counseling, and my spouse was just "done" trying.
Dr. Rachel's encouragement and steady guidance has helped me to begin the necessary repairs that should have happened long ago. Since my spouse had given up on working on our relationship, I did the program alone, and it is totally worth it. She will support you with everything you need to rebuild yourself and your relationship. For the first time ever, we are able to have the hard conversations that we need to have--all because Dr. Rachel has given me the tools necessary to navigate the choppy waters."
"I thought that opening up to my partner would be awful, as it turns out it's great! With what I've learned I can communicate much better, and they are much more accepting than I thought they would be."
"I always thought it was my husband's problem and we needed to fix that, I never realized how much I contribute to our dynamic. Our relationship is so different now."